Anyone else feel like that this week? I definitely did. I still kind of am. I don't know if it's the weather, or the fact that this is Week 7 of quarantine, but I hit a wall yesterday - I had absolutely no motivation or desire to do ANYTHING. I kept up with my daily reading of "Do It Scared." I edited and posted a video to the vlog. I made a few posts to Instagram. I addressed backstory timeline issues in "Beached." I scheduled a Zoom interview with a woman who had agreed to be spotlighted in the old ABR format - her story is so inspiring, and I'm excited to ultimately share her "in person." In real life, I cleaned the whole house and scheduled a few follow-up doctor appointments for May. But honestly, I struggled to do all of this, and by lunchtime yesterday, I felt DONE. I didn't even feel like doing yoga or light weights. I lay around all afternoon in front of the fireplace and did absolutely nothing, and felt guilty while I did it, but I just couldn't pull myself out of whatever funk I'd fallen into.
I'm a homebody by nature, so in that regard, being quarantined hasn't bothered me much. And I've never had trouble finding things to do, even when the whole world was at my doorstep. So it's not like I'm bored, per se, and I can't even say I'm depressed. Maybe it's just a matter of having a "human" moment and thinking, "Okay - I don't want to play this game anymore." Casey and I were watching TV last night, and there was a scene of two people in a restaurant, and it was like watching a foreign culture or remembering a dream I had a long time ago. My purse has been sitting on the piano in the dining room, and I look at it and find myself thinking about the days when I'd just grab it and go out the door, and it feels so strange to think that wow, I used to be able to do that! Everything about normal life feels so faraway now. I think it's just sort of getting to me these days. And I know that's normal, and I'm far from the only one experiencing the quarantine "blahs." It's okay. It's all good.
I did my best to put in a full day's work today, even though it was mainly just little things, so I could feel like I accomplished something and get my mindset back where it needed to be. I'll push myself to exercise tonight, and maybe try get out for a few walks this weekend. Next week is a new week and a clean slate. :-)